It’s early morning as I stare out my window through the skeletal branches of a misty day. There’s a flickering light from my candle burning as the scent of Lemon Pound Cake wafts around my kitchen, and all I can think about is the sorrow of a dear friend and how so many things in life are unexpected and we must cope; just gather strength from deep within us and exist. Most of the times it’s strength we couldn’t possibly know we have, and yet somehow it’s there and we wonder, how am I still on my feet, how can I even breath or speak…

For me that strength comes from a light inside us that grows and comes to the surface when we most need it. For me that light is God; the constant I have always loved and believed in, for how else could we make it through those days.

Faith is a beautiful thing if you have it, because you know you’re never alone, even in the most harrowing of circumstances when your body and your mind are spent, or frightened, or discouraged or hungry for more.

I wish all could find faith, find God. One of the loveliest poems I think that completely depicts that love is “Footprints”. I know you’ve seen it in every card store, on line, a friend’s refrigerator even, it’s quite commercialized, however for me it’s the comforting message it leaves on your heart, like when the writer states there were only one sent of footprints implying they were alone, and Jesus replies. “It was then that I carried you”. The first time I read it I cried, I think my Mom shared it with me as she gave me countless beautiful gifts. It was so enlightening and touching to read.

So many of us struggle with our faith because we must face tragic outcomes in our lives or perhaps because we were never raised as children to believe. And you hear people say, ”How could a God like that allow for war? Or for children to be stricken with cancer? Or for the homeless to long for food and shelter? Or for the feelings of loneliness or hopelessness. And some of us loose the faith we once had–we become discouraged and angry with God, so angry we begin to question his existence. I can’t explain why these things happen in the world, but I do know there have been so many wonderful and magical things that have happened in my life that give me Hope. And that’s such a miraculous feeling to experience. My mom once told me about a friend of hers who’s son died in a sudden motorcycle accident. She asked her friend, “How do you do it, keep your faith?” And her friend answered, “God can’t always say yes, sometimes he has to say no.” That was her way of coming to an understanding, and it has begun to pave a road of acceptance.

My lovely husband purchased a bible for my birthday last week so that we could read it together. It’s a King James translation with interpretations of the text and I’m looking forward to opening it with him.

So it is my wish that you take some time to explore, gather back, or simply re-examine your faith and let that light grow inside of you to strengthen you and be a comfort for you during those times when life itself seems unthinkable. Let Jesus carry you…

Till we spin another moment.

Ciao Bella